Early in recovery before I could really state what I wanted in life, I kept hearing this phrase; "bring your dreams to the program". I had since long ago given up dreaming for anything other than to get out of trouble and stop being in pain most of the time. I dreamed of being, well, normal. I did not know what that meant, yet i wanted to be that. I just wanted to be happy, I think. Being a little neurotic and a lot of afflicted I am not sure exactly what I was thinking.
After some time I started to build a list in my head of things I wanted to be or to do or to experience. Standard list for a 40 year old male, 8 years in recovery, above average intelligence. You know. Be a formula one driver, be a movie star with Bruce Lee. Some would think that I had the emotions and desires of a 14 year old. Why not? I stopped developing emotionally at age 11 when I started my road to addiction. When I came to recovery it seems that is where I picked back up emotionally. My children could not understand why sometimes I was into the same things and they were at their ages. After they read this they will know.
Moving ahead in recovery my inherent core beliefs and values started emerging and became part of my every day life. I was mildly surprised to find out I had such a good set of morals and internal compass to follow. Little by little I started to accomplish what the Taoist believe as; "return to that which you were"...
Today some 4 decades later I have adopted a thinking process in the Present Moment which allows and encourages me to dream, with moderation of course. I have given myself permission to want and appreciate the gifts that The Spirit of Life will shower me with. In fact yesterday I was able to live out one of my dreams aka "bucket list".
Having lived and traveled in Italy I love and appreciate good Italian food. One of our dear dear friends is a trained chef which specializes in Italian cuisine and especially The Tuscan region. She was able to come to one of our local culinary academies and teach a class on Traditional Tuscan cooking. Ohhh yeahhhh, I was in the front row. For a small price I was able to learn so much in a 2 hour class it was surprising to me. Did you know that 25 year old balsamic vinegar costs about $200 per bottle and is so sweet and heavy you can drizzle it over fresh cut strawberries......yummmmmm. We all had a truly wonderful time and our friend turns out to be a natural teacher and very smooth educator. I would love to become a chef and teach as she does. What a gift and what a fun way to make people happy and sustain a prosperous life.
I had a dream and that dream became manifest in Reality one day at a time. I trusted The Divine to bring to me that which IT feels is for me to have or do and It responded in kind. Am I truly blessed? Oh yeah and more. I am looking forward to whatever "The Source" decides I need to do to once again to satisfy at least one more item on my "wish list" aka "bucket list". Who knows, maybe it will be ice cream for breakfast.....oh oh, I already do that.
Love and Light,
richard aka
ezduzit777 on twitter
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