Upon entering recovery for substance abuse I was to find out through repeated personal inventories and living life that I never allowed anything to happen naturally. I always had to push, pull, wheedle, cajole, manipulate or hustle to have things occur as I wanted or needed them to happen. I needed to be in control of my life, always. That way I could also protect myself, I was always vulnerable.
As my knowledge of the recovery process increased and in particular the Big Book the thoughts on page 68, I became aware that I needed to learn how to "let go, let happen, let God" just "let". This was going to a monumental effort on my part for I never had allowed myself to be part of the "streaming consciousness" of life. Page 68 holds the words; "...let God demonstrate through us that which He is capable of."
This means I have to give it up....let go and let God...let all things happen naturally. Easier said than done I think. Of course I now find out this concept of "letting God" was the tip of the iceberg again in my life. This concept is now part of my life operating system today. For example: I understand in consciousness that I Am a manifestation of the Spirit of Life or God as I understand IT/HIM/HER. This means that I should learn to "just be", not do, "just be".
I do not have to try nor work to change what IT creates in each and every present moment. My task in Life is to improve and maintain "a conscious contact with God as I understand HIM". I am supposed to "...let HIM demonstrate..." through me. I Am supposed to be pro-active in allowing the Divine Essence of Me to be that which all see and experience each present moment of Life.
Each time I think or say "I must work at ___" I must be once again trying to do Gods job. All things great and small are manifest of IT. I just need to get out of the way and "let HIM demonstrate...". The idea for me today seems to be "relax", "be silent", "let go", etc. This does not in any manner absolve me of my responsibility to "shuffle my feet" and do what I need to do to get out of the way and let HIM use me to accomplish that which IT needs to by demonstrating through me.
Just Be! Such a sweet easy process. Quiet down, retreat, meditate, go in, sit in the silence or Hold the High Watch are all examples of that which I should be doing each moment of Life. I have had long periods of total spiritual bliss by allowing HIM to demonstrate through me. Conversely I have had horrendous moments when I have decided I needed to be in total control of my life. Not a fun thing to do. Usually quite painful in some manner. I know today the "easier softer way" is the right way..."let HIM demonstrate through Us that which He is capable of doing."
Om mane padme hum, om mane padme hum, om mane padme hum, excuse me but it is time for me to relax....om mane padme hummmmm.
Love and light,
richard
