Monday, March 18, 2013

Sponsor vs Friend or "What was my fear"??

   Recently I was once again afforded the opportunity to get some first hand experience at yet another "old axiom".  "Familiarity breeds contempt".  This was a valuable yet tough one for me....probably once again exposed another very deeply seeded fear such as; "what if I say or do something and he won't like me".  You would think after nearly 4 decades of trying to rid myself of long ago self created fears that this would get easier.  Not so.  Just not so.

   One of the people that I have been so privileged and honored to try and mentor (sponsor) in our Fellowship recently began to appear to me to be regressing in his thoughts and actions.  I say appears for all I ever have to go on is visible and audible ques to go by.  I have never had the ability nor been privy to the minds of those we try and help.  We never really know what or why they are thinking, in fact they probably don't know either half the time.

   So.  What happened was this gentleman or gentle man if you prefer for he is, showed up at a meeting and thought nothing of asking the assembled a question about the typical; "how long do I?  How much do I?  Why do I? "ad infinitum"".  Of course someone in the group obliged him and zoweeeeeeeeee.  He id not get the response he probably would have liked.  At the end of the meeting he pretty much bolted and flounced out without even a hug or goodbye.  I take my hugs  seriously.  So.  There we are. Once again he is angry (fearful) and some notion such as pride would not let him move past the fearful flareup.

   I think get a communication from him which one could expect; "blah blah blah you, you, you, .etc).  Standard fair for neurotics who are on the edge again.  My first thought and action as as normal.  Patience, tolerance, time.  Then came the 2nd communique.  Harsh, angry, vengeful, again standard during a fearful aberration of mind.

   Well now.  Counsel with my sponsor, pray, meditate and so on.  Now comes the crunch.  Do I soft peddle the idea that he needed to move on in his thinking?  Do I ignore this diatribe?  Sheeesh.  Honesty in "...all my affairs" has always been the way.  I was prompted to take off my "friend hat" and don my "sponsor hat" and remind this beautiful man who was treating me like one of his old friends off the street, that it was not cool attack me for his inability to assimilate in life and it definitely was not cool to attack me, the one who had infinite friendly patience for his antics for the past "x: years.

   The sponsor in me said; "remember, when you started, your mentors always treated you as a student/sponsee and held you just a little bit at bay".  That is true.  After several years of a staunch sponsor - sponsee relationship I discovered they and I had become true friends.  Even after this discovery, there were those moments when they would slip directly into the mentor role and I would know inherently that I was being provided guidance in some form.

   I believe this past training was invaluable in this current situation.  As quickly as I could respond to him in a mentor capacity and stand in my "Truth", he responded in kind.  He knew that he had some spiritual and emotional work to do on himself, and quickly too.

   Now 2 weeks later this wonderful guy is back on his path, we have resumed a friendship, and most importantly had an open and honest conversation about "friendship vs sponsorship"  He seems truly happy with this and I know for sure I am.  He is putting in some time re-tooling his program life through the steps, prayer and meditation and attendance in all the right places.

   This was a great reminder from the Universe for me and I am just tickled pink that our relationship has not only been saved, it has been advanced.  I am a firm believer that God or "IT" as I call IT, represents all there is, has been and will be.  Of course this means that even my dear sponsee's behavior was Divine in nature and just an expression of IT for me to learn once again that friendships can be forged from sponsorship and yet maybe not always the other way around.

Love and Light
ezduzit777 on twitter