This is a concept which I had a whole lot of trouble with. All my life I had been used to giving mostly things to people for the wrong reasons. To mollify them or assuage some guilt in me. Always the wrong reasons.
My self worth, self esteem or lack of confidence most of my life led me to think that I did not deserve "things" from anyone. I was not "worthy". This is a hard place to be especially since I am not even catholic. I just can't remember ever being encouraged to think highly of any part of me. I just wasn't any big deal. I am now thinking that it is also probably tied to my psyche thinking about me being born on Christmas Day and all the neurotic thinking that can and has went on with that. Of course that is a whole 'nother writing for later.
I just posted a long response on another blog (Bleeding Espresso by Michelle Fabio) on "start where you are"....admitting to procrastination and or "acedia". This means this blog item is done...not perfect, not waiting for more inspiration or insight, just done.
Thank you God/IT/He/She/Allah/Allaha, et al.
Love and light,
richard
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