Friday, February 18, 2011

Doesn't everyone have one?

When I first came around this way of life I was certainly a puffed up EGO attached to some form of humanity.  I was a sometimes intellectual that knew nothing.  A member of the US Navy at that time, I was told in yearly evaluations that I could in  fact; "...leap tall buildings, etc.".  I actually believed that stuff about me.  Why not?  It served my EGO well.

After a few and I mean a few 24 hours in recovery which by the way "recovery" was defined as; "just not drinking", I was introduced to what I know today as "The Big Book".  That living, loving,  evolving compilation of early program thoughts which I now see as a basis or way of life.  When I first was handed this "text" I was told to read; "The Doctors Opinion".  I did. So what?  Who needed all that really old medical thought and idea?  All I needed was a way to get better and live.  Who needed knowledge.  I knew so little.

I was convinced I had an "opinion" also and yet no one wanted to hear my opinion.  I was the only expert around on me and maybe or maybe not I had incorporated Dr. Silkworth's thoughts and ideas but then that was my opinion.  This was a precarious time in my life.  I almost thought myself right out of existence.

I am truly thankful to whatever force in Life there is for people who actually knew more about me than I did.  They were operating from experience and understood what I was going through and what I needed to do to survive myself.

Today I know that yes of course I have opinions and thoughts and ideas that are valid in many many areas of my life.  I also know that others have the same opinions, thoughts and ideas which are based on their life experiences.  I have made a practice to share my opinions as Dr. Silkworth did without fear, hesitation or doubt.

All of this thinking was wound up in such things as self worth, self reflection, self patience, in fact, tied up in me and how to make me well again.  This was a hard hard lesson to learn and believe in when you think yours is the only opinion around that matters.

Today things are different than then and I am grateful for that.  So just for today my opinion is that we all have one and I am willing to listen to yours and it doesn't matter is your listen to mine, it is mine and no one else's.  I have also come to find that within me and all others that there is a infinite amount of thoughts and ideas that will  be and should  be expressed for me to continue to grow.

I never suspected at that first reading of "The Doctors Opinion" that there would be so many great opinions I was to hear that went far beyond anything I had ever thought of.  I am even delighted today to hear and share opinions from all of humanity, not just people within the tiny realm I call "recovery".

Is there more than the steps?  Of course.

Love and Light,


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